Constipation (Humor Poem)


Searching for the early Parkinson’s twitch
Or the Alzheimer’s gap, I gently trudge past
The eponyms that could define me
When my knee makes creaky noises a habit
And my knuckles crunch as I type the keyboard
Of an old typewriter

And perhaps if I was lucky enough
I would have a disease named after me
Gunawardana, a lengthy name for perhaps
An extra dose of constipation that killed
A man who got stuck in a rut
– of slow and muscled solids

And wouldn’t that be a sweet death
When that last meal you had – Spaghetti with meatballs
At that plush pasta joint in Colombo
Gets stuck inside the most pathetic of places
And I guess no one told me that meal
Of an extra dose of flour stuffed with animal protein
Could give me an actual heart attack
From the wrong end

And as I lie at the pearly gates, about to enter heaven
I would be like that Goldfish in a fish bowl
A little extra spaghetti poop still stuck in my behind
Telling a bewildered God.

Shit Happens…….


Published by

meandererworld (Dilantha Gunawardana)

Dr Dilantha Gunawardana is a molecular biologist, who graduated from the University of Melbourne. He moonlights as a poet. Dilantha wrote his first poem at the ripe age of 32 and now has more than 1700 poems on his blog. His poems have been accepted/published in Forage, Kitaab, Eastlit, American Journal of Poetry and Ravens Perch, among others. He was also awarded the prize for "The emerging writer of the year - 2016" in the Godage National Literary Awards, Sri Lanka for his first collection of poems (Kite Dreams – A Sarasavi Publication), while being shortlisted for the poetry prize. Dilantha is a dual citizen of Sri Lanka and Australia, and shares his experiences from two different cultures. He blogs at - https://meandererworld.

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