If I could tell you
The monsoons are falling now
And the mangoes are ripe
Your memory too seemingly just like that
Falling on occasion and ripening
Before my eyes

I can see the dark spots
And white-lines and the cloth and jacket
You effortlessly wore everyday
In your bed-ridden years and I search for you on that bed
Every crease seeming like a sand dune
And the edges appear to be vaster
Than the Gobi dessert

And that Buddha statue on top
Seem to hypnotize me
To those day you took us to the temple
As we placed frangipani flowers
And joss sticks and we would hold our palms together
Like Lord Buddha does and prayed
Some words to Jesus
After all every figure that seemed to be
A statue called forth a prayer….

And now through
Jagged scabs of early dawn
And cobwebs of stitched eyelids at night
You come to me perforating all
Like Aurora in a night shift
Only to come back in her usual morning ritual
And I climb on to your carousal
And we seem to tumble together
On horseback Samsara
Going pass stupas and clay-fortresses
Where your footprints rest immortal

And I wake up and you’re no longer there
And that merry-go-round dream
Where you and I were one in spirit
Fades like the last frame of a picture show
And I run out of my stardust cinema
To a world cluttered with reality

I long to be that monk wearing a saffron robe
In a deep meditation, unflinched of the surroundings
And you’re the only the object circumambulating
Until thought and memory are fused as one
And everything is perfect until saudade eclipses
When loss becomes a memory of its own
Seemingly forensic moments
You remember of her proof of life
Imprinted in the DNA of love