Virgin Monologues

A Poem I wrote a long time ago, at least 3 years back. This shows the complex thought patterns of a virgin (taking a woman as example)

How can my pilgrim heart
Trespass on another human
When the body is a sentinel?

How can I
Proudly wear my hymen
And not be a leper?

How can I
Reveal my scarlet letter
That horrible skin tag – to my lover
Only to be engulfed by shame?

How can I
Live in the closet
Married to a parasitic god?

How can I
Miss my lover
At the culmination
Of each and every date?

How can I
Be consumed by love
And not be consummated by her fabric ?

How can I
Be a hero to my faith
But a traitor to mankind?

How can I
Feel safe in that nest of love
Yet be alien to her antics?

How can I
Find my utopia in love
Only to be summoned to his body
For a dystopian tryst?

How can I feel
Not being raped by a million mortal opinions
As I surrender to my lover?

How can I
Not bloom like a flower
As my lover deflowers?

How can I
Summon you god
And still not
Blaspheme my religion?

How can I
Stop my self-immolation
To the wildfires within?

How can I
Learn to make love
And not be haunted by self-loathe?

How can I
Be so narcissistic, so oblivious of guilt
As to deprive my lover?

How can I
Look at the mirror naked
Knowing implicitly
My body is no man’s temple?

Or will I
Always be a whore in heart
But a saint in body?

Or will I………….
Embrace heaven
Having passed my days
In a ruthless penitentiary?

Or is love a sham god?
And celibacy the devil?
And I, His apostle

Or will I…………..
Transcend my will
To feel for a fleeting moment
I am like the rest?

Or will I succumb………….
To the absence of a hearth
To the desperation of desire?

Or will I
Muse on, knowing deep down
I am a rebel to none
But a coward to many?

Or am I forever a unicorn whisperer – holding a savage heart

Untamed by none?

Hüfthose (1)

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Author: meandererworld (Dilantha Gunawardana)

Dr Dilantha Gunawardana is a molecular biologist who graduated from the University of Melbourne. He moonlights as a poet. His poems have been accepted/published in Forage, American Journal of Poetry, Kitaab, Eastlit and Ravens Perch. He mixes science with poetry for a living, when what matters is the expression of both DNA and words into something serendipitous. Although an Australian citizen, Dilantha is domiciled in Sri Lanka, his country of birth.

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