Shaq I Am – Quotes by Dilantha Gunawardana

These are some quotes of mine, I wrote as a book. I wrote this in 2011, when I was going through some really bad times. I guess you need to get there, to discover yourself and who your family and friends are. I know quotes mean nothing unless you are famous, but still I enjoyed writing this booklet.

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Shaq I am: A Collection Of Quotes

Poets

Every human lives in collections, namely nuclear family, circle of friends, sports teams and interest groups, church or temple and collectively society. Collective behavior not only gives a human the fortitude of belief, self worth and a sense of belonging within the realms of our lives but also provides an important conduit of time, the lasting power of social life – as we all know very well, man has mandatory social needs. In spite of collective ‘herd’ behavior within our born and acquired social circles, man also has a need for the exploration of inherent talents and hobbies, be it arts, sciences or sports, either as an avid participant or a cult member of a professional or amateur body dedicated to such pass times. Such individualism, perhaps within collectivism, is both an involvement of the heart and the psyche to an activity which brings forth both joy and fulfillment to life – In spite of our collective endeavors we are truly the most content when our individual aspirations are met. This publication is an attempt to bring together a collection of quotes for both, inspiration and self reflection, to secure within, the all-important balance between collective behavior and individualism. The collection of quotes has been conceived and coined by Dr Dilantha Gunawardana, as one of his pass times in the conduit of both his professional and social lives.

This book has been titled ShaqIam, which is an acronym formed from the lexis Soloman, Hercules, Apollo, Quasimodo, Ishtar, Asclepius and Merlin, each a separate topic on a broader theme attributed to the strengths of the above personalities, fictional characters and mythological figures. The themes are listed below.

Solomon (S) – Wisdom and Life
Hercules (H) – Sport and Entertainment
Apollo (A) – Arts and Music
Quasimodo (Q) – Faith and Religion
Ishtar (I) – Love and Sex
Asclepius (A)– Science and Medicine
Merlin (M) – Education and Technology

Hope this publication brings forth a sense of contentment and insight to your individual and collective lives.

Solomon – Wisdom and Life

(1) Everyone needs an anchor to keep them grounded in their relevant spheres of life. An anchor less individual is bound to stray in the trade winds of life, soft cargo for forceful peer pressure.
(2) A well-balanced man thinks like an adult, acts like a child and behaves like an animal in the bedroom.
(3) Only trials in life will unravel to you the many gears you possess.
(4) Earning the stripes of success too early is like climaxing prematurely, the thrill of the wait disappears and the slope of boredom begins.
(5) If you are a crown in faith and a clown at heart, you are blessed with an easy life.
(6) Tears flow not only to moist our eyes but to remind us of our melting consciences.
(7) Emotions are your personal barometers of the extremes that react primarily to the zeniths and the nadirs, but very rarely to the in-betweens.
(8) Xenophobia is not merely fearing the foreign but being too comfortable with your trained surroundings.
(9) A family is your inheritance that you grow out of but never outgrow.
(10) The danger with rumors is that you never know when it will change hands, when the periphery steps to the center.
(11) A friend stabs you on the back but an enemy stabs you on the side of the sternum.
(12) Corruption is greed in action.
(13) It is not the best listeners who capture hearts but the best memories since small talk mandatorily call to attention minute facts.
(14) The startling similarity between the republicans and the democrats is that one (elephant) has an enormous trunk and the other is an enormous ass, both equally susceptible for booty call policies.
(15) Jealousy is simply a manifestation of wanting what the other person has.
(16) Beauty still remains the principle trademark of marketing that is why models and muses earn a fat paycheck.
(17) Another’s imperfection is a miracle sedative to a flaming insomniac.
(18) Those that live for the moment are merely closet dreamers.
(19) Gossip is the best example of the domino effect or of a trigger reaction.
(20) Life is a board of snakes and ladder, the success of which is determined by the subtraction of one from the other.
(21) Strange has an expiry date, it is called normalcy.
(22) Honesty is easier vouched for than practiced.
(23) Deception has a cannibalistic existence as we hide the truth from others and we feed ourselves lies.
(24) A white lie could easily lead to a black eye, a green monster or a red flush.
(25) Honesty has durability where as a lie only has a limited shelf life.
(26) Beauty is the best example of devaluation with age.
(27) Boredom is simply the saturation of ideas or your constriction within repetition of events.
(28) A rumor is like an echo, the louder the vice, the stronger it is going to vibrate your life.
(29) The truth can be hidden but a truth can never be forgotten.
(30) Aiming for the stars is worthwhile for you can reach unforeseen spheres of life, but there is always that possibility of mistaking a falling star for a sparkle in the sky.

Hercules – Sport and Entertainment

(1) Humor is your naïve uninhibited imagination crying out for peer attention, a stage for the shy at heart.
(2) The winners earn the beacon but the losers learn the lesson.
(3) Social networking is just an application wizard to micro manage your social life but not to harvest the rewards of a meaningful friendship.
(4) Thanks to social networking, we now have more introverts than extroverts, although the demarcating line has become a lot more hazier.
(5) If strength and speed are the Herculean attributes of sports then precision and variation are the Merlinean factors.
(6) Soccer and Sepaktakraw are the only sports that discriminate against the adept hand.
(7) In academia, men and women are complete equals but in sport there will always be a disparity of the genders.
(8) The cheetah is the most underestimated mascot in professional sport and perhaps due to the accidental allusion of a cheater.
(9) The women’s grunt has been the most recent addition to professional tennis, an equally impactful distraction and attraction.
(10) A loser is a winner within the halls of privacy.
(11) Professional sport mandatorily requires premature retirement.
(12) Only an innovator spawns a signature shot or move, with the exception of accidental heroes in their moments of serendipity.
(13) Brawn brings victory, beauty attracts appeal and both in union fetch liquid gold ingots.
(14) Sporstmanship is evidence that many sportsmen are free from the slavery of victory.
(15) The metal that matters most in sport is’nt gold, silver or bronze but the metal of your will.
(16) Sports brands have franchises, they are called fans.
(17) Champions of sports not only reach the lofty heights of eternal recognition but inevitably gain a casual ride on top of a double-decker bus.
(18) It may have been Mary Quaint that invented the mini-skirt but it was sport that took it to an international stage.
(19) Stardom opens more doors than it closes, but the closure of the privacy door may have a domino effect on many other doors of life.
(20) A venerated sportsman has to deal with both parasitism and commensalism in his life but to find symbiosis would be serendipitous.

Apollo – Arts and Music

(1) Poetry is the perfect tonic for when gin blossoms in life, yin for yang, the perfect balancing act for the trials of life.
(2) The legacy of fantasy novels are the terminological additions to the English language from dystopia to utopia and the infinity of possibilities in-between.
(3) The appreciation of abstraction in the Arts is directly proportion to the boundaries of your imagination.
(4) If the Arts is the ocean, poetry is the waves, in synchronous motion in their own melodies.
(5) In Hollywood, either you are a serious actor or you are blessed with good looks.
(6) Dada had a stroke of Dodo within, foolhardy in expression, short-lived in existence.
(7) Futurism was merely capturing the physics of motion in the time tunnel of life.
(8) Art is a manifestation of strokes of genius within an objectification of the artist’s vision.
(9) For the beholder, a painting has a past, a present and a future, since only one frame of the whole story is captured for an eternity.
(10) The most unique models for the visual arts are found in religion and in mythology.
(11) The one essential for satire is a public figure with deficiencies or eccentricities.
(12) An artist has two objectives, to capture his vision, and to capture the audience’s vision.
(13) Before the advent of the camera, art and literature were the pornography of the masses.
(14) Artistic nudes are pornography to the prudes.
(15) The palate determines the palette.
(16) Trained poets leave a trail of evidence but poets by birth surprise you.
(17) Impressionism blossomed from nature where as the renaissance man’s mannerism captured the many forms of nurture in nature.
(18) It is a surprising notion that where as music has regularly experimented with fusion forms, the visual arts have blossomed in their own genres, eras and niches, with the exception of a few cultural influences.
(19) Both art and music will have sequels and prequels with the advent of time, reinvention sparked by a talented few for the benefit of the masses.
(20) Just like sparks transform in to extravaganzas of light and color, brush strokes metamorphose in to artistic masterpieces.

Quasimodo – Faith and Religion

(1) Insecurity is a prelude to insanity.
(2) The dearth of trust is the death of civilization.
(3) Trust is never an exaggeration or an underestimation but the implicit clarity of another.
(4) The truth is clouded not by a haze of lies but by a fog of insecurity.
(5) Faith lives within the temple and not at the temple.
(6) No mathematician has ever proved the prayer conjecture – the probability of success that prayer delivers.
(7) The effect of prayer to the faithless is simply luck minus the placebo effect.
(8) The most startling difference between conventional religions is the place held by hair follicles, venerated by the holy men of Islam, Judaism and the Sikhism but discarded as a distraction by the priests of Buddhism.
(9) For the faithful, luck is the residue of faith.
(10) Superstition is an essential safety net for the indigenous and the narrow at heart.
(11) Religion is both a friend and a fore to human development, the dichotomy of regulation of ethics and non-regulation of birth.
(12) Faith when patiently practiced can be the utopia of the people.
(13) Barrier contraception not only saves vulnerable lives but provides modes of employment to the multitudes of estate workers in rubber plantations. It is a necessary good and not an unnecessary evil.
(14) Religion rarely miseducates, the reality is that religion is gravely misunderstood.
(15) Every religion believes in an afterlife otherwise we would be eternal pessimists in the abyss of life.
(16) Christianity venerates the marginalized, where else but in the bible would you find stories of trolls, lepers, prostitutes, minorities and tax collectors.
(17) If ever an eternal peace deal is organized between factions within Islam and Judaism, it should be undoubtedly themed ‘The Abraham Accords’.
(18) One way to attain nirvana would be an outright honest all apology.
(19) Disenchantment with religion is more often not a personal choice but a social persuasion.
(20) Christianity possesses a magnanimous funny bone, a fat slobby buffoon like St Nicholas who drudges through chimneys surrounded by revolting soot, is evidence why.

Ishtar – Love and Sex

(1) A love triangle has two winners and two losers.
(2) Why is it that guys have bottle neck vision for hour glass figures.
(3) Beauty contests were invented by mathematicians, why else would height and vital statistics determine the eventual winner.
(4) To the unsuspecting child a condom is an inflatable balloon and that is the beauty of innocence.
(5) If a gay or a lesbian is by definition happy, then why haven’t scientists discovered the ‘happy’ gene yet ?
(6) In the dating world, beauty is the facade and the brains the fortress, you only conquer the second if you come across the first.
(7) France may be the land of love but the location of the house of the Dolphin (Dauphin), is in no way the land of sexuality.
(8) The female pill may have been a hallmark of women’s liberation but it has also been a mark of man’s emancipation from the slavery of the condom.
(9) True love not only waits but weights your heart with the burden of not making mistakes.
(10) Yes, sperms swim, but I wonder what their favorite stroke is – dolphin and back stroke are biological impossibilities, breast stroke the wrong destination, so it comes down to the free style.
(11) It would be a perfect world, if a sperm bank forms a merger with Playboy Corporation for the benefit of single women.
(12) Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and diamonds are forever, so by logic, girls are forever but unfortunately only in a picture-perfect dream.
(13) The negative aspect of perfection is that it desensitizes you from the realities of sensuality.
(14) The sperm bank is the only banking institute that accepts deposits of micro credit.
(15) Spermicide has collectively done more harm to human biodiversity than abortions and accidents combined.
(16) Is it just me or why isn’t tickling part of foreplay.
(17) Fornication (Phonication) sounds like making love to a phone or a banshee orgasm but unfortunately it is simply the act of sexual intercourse.
(18) Whoever venerated ‘the first time’ had not dealt with the aftermath, the gradual descent to banality.
(19) Whoever said symmetry is perfection in beauty is bound to have never seen nipples.
(20) The problem with an argument with your partner is that even when you have won it, you still feel somewhat lost.
(21) Sex without love is lust but love without sex is infatuation, both predicaments of the human mind.
(22) A women both intoxicates and sobers you, lust and love in a serendipitous union.
(23) Pheromones are not compasses of love but entropies of lust.
(24) Only feminists have the dilemma of sleeping with the enemy with no strings attached.
(25) Babies are unassailable examples of why bald is beautiful.
(26) Post-natal life is partly a sucking infant and an ogling parent.
(27) Prostitution is one good example of the short-term profitability of permanent assets.
(28) A wedding is not just an activation of the wedded couple’s sex life but also the reawakening of that of the parents.
(29) Middle class pursuit of love is a blessing since you are devoid of green insanity, safe from the turbulence of insecurity and the lucky ones (guys) just may attract a land manatee, i.e a mermaid on foot, who simply loves you for your basic self.
(30) A wedding is simply a glorified bar, free drinks, good food, plenty of half naked bodies and the swarm of pick-up chatter.

 
Asclepius – Science, Nature and Medicine

(1) Science is like an elephant, colossal ideas needing small steps in the sludge of empirical experimentation.
(2) The dodo is a good reminder that the foolhardy can sometimes be a little foolish.
(3) Guys have been given the token of the chase, it is called testosterone.
(4) Be it the French, Industrial or Green revolutions, it was carbon at the center of it.
(5) Fairy tales are fabulous examples of biodiversity, from the dwarfs and the elves to the giants and goliaths.
(6) Appendages are merely appendixes that perform essential functions.
(7) Man’s obsession with size can be clearly seen in the nomenclature of monkeys, where the two largest are classified as the Mandrill and the Drill.
(8) The conservation corridors of humans are the air lines, the vessels that allow for the ‘migration’ of biodiversity.
(9) An ecological niche is merely an evolutionary ghetto, nothing more nothing less.
(10) The fact that the air vessels within the lungs of a man are called alveolae and the spaces surrounding female nipples are themed alveolae, demonstrates clearly that breasts are the air supply of a man.
(11) If animals evolved photosynthesis, mankind would have been in big trouble.
(12) Photosynthesis is the prime example of why mankind has always wished upon a star.
(13) If dragons mated with dinosaurs, the world would have encountered too many thieves and arsonists.
(14) The universal advertising slogan on the green house effect would be astutely themed ‘the next Noah’s ark? ’
(15) Rabbits are nuisance pests found around the globe and they possess one of the highest mating frequencies. Coincidence or not ?
(16) If a pro-pregnancy wing of men ever existed that countered the biological discrimination of man in pregnancy, it would undoubtedly have the sea horse as its mascot.
(17) The fact that only a very few species practice monogamy demonstrates clearly that it is recent trick in evolution.
(18) Evolution is not denying the existence of god but making the force of god tangible using physics, chemistry and biology.
(19) A Nobel laureate contracts the forgotten honor of being a de-facto guardian of the muses, women in artistic perfection.
(20) Information scientists very rarely carry a chip on their shoulder but are presented with a shoulder in the form of a chip.

Merlin – Education

(1) A news anchor not only carries the weight of news but anchors the viewer to his or her seat.
(2) Education without sustainable nutrition is similar to cargo without a horse nor a carriage, as educational empowerment can only be built on a solid physical foundation and the pulling power of mental capacity.
(3) Education is 50% your teacher’s inspiration and 50% your own perspiration.
(4) Education possesses boundaries but the psyche is not curtailed by such limitations.
(5) Education empowers the pen but unfortunately the pen empowers the gun.
(6) Education is a never ending story that is self narrated.
(7) The best use of guns would be if they are used to force truants back to school.
(8) Education does not have an expiry date but memory does.
(9) One who uses intelligence as a measuring stick is bound to reach at some point the doldrums of insecurity.
(10) Language is a constant reminder that education is best attained as a fledgling child and not as a languishing adult.
(11) No foundation school will teach you the etiquette of farting, it is only self realized.
(12) Choice is the best enforcer of empowerment as one is bound to chase the ‘needy’ vocational dreams and not the professional wants.
(13) Technology empowers people and in turn people empower technology, a symbiosis that I would designate as the ‘silicon’ cycle.
(14) Human intel spawned pneumonic intel which chipped in to our social lives like potato chips on a Saturday night.
(15) A chip is a lot more mightier than a pen or a gun.
(16) It makes perfect sense that a guy with a god complex (Dr Seuss) coined the word ‘Nerd’.
(17) Nerds could very well be Nereids guarding the oceans of intelligence.
(18) If education is your addiction then success would be your habit.
(19) Awareness is empowerment only if it is put in to practice in the many realms of life.
(20) An astute mind filter is your only guardian from miseducation in the contemporary information superfluous highway

 

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Author: meandererworld (Dilantha Gunawardana)

Dr Dilantha Gunawardana is a molecular biologist who graduated from the University of Melbourne. He moonlights as a poet. His poems have been accepted/published in Forage, American Journal of Poetry, Kitaab, Eastlit and Ravens Perch. He mixes science with poetry for a living, when what matters is the expression of both DNA and words into something serendipitous. Although an Australian citizen, Dilantha is domiciled in Sri Lanka, his country of birth.

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